You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
