I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
