So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
