If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
