And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
