There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
