I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
True strength comes from lack of pants
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
