im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So vagazzling was a success
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
