Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
