my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
