Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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