So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
