You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
