Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
