he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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