I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
