tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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