If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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