whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I got inside last night via doggy door
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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