On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize