You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
why is half of my head shaved?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
