I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's blow job season.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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