I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Randomize
