So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
