shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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