Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
