I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
