dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
