I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Green mimosas i think yes
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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