So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize