TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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