i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
