im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I skipped work to stalk him.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
how drunk are you?
Several
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
