my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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