can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
