Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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