I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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