my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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