I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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