you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
