I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
