No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
