it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
