I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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