I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Randomize