how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
