Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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