I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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