I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize