We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Someone shattered a urinal.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
