Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
