dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
