Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
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