I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
