I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
