Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
