wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
