Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
