yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
