matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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