Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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