My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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