I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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