Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
