Plan B is the new Plan A
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
