I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
