He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
