I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
