i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
tell me about the eggs
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize