I wanna passion pit in your ass
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
