Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
