4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
