Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
