i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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